Bovine eschatology

Putting the BS in Biblical Studies

I’ve thought about writing a post about eschatology, end-times theology, for a while now. In the wake of the most recent rapture hoax, this seems like a good time.

I’m not a theologian, nor do I play one on tv, but I did grow up with an interest in the Bible’s end-time prophecies that may have been sparked by an old 70s Christian comic book. I came of age as the Left Behind series was being released and I eagerly devoured these books and accompanying nonfiction books about Bible prophecy. When I started writing my personal blog, a lot of my early posts dealt with my prophetic speculation. Interestingly, churches didn’t talk much about the end times when I was young. Much of the interest in these prophecies seems to be a post-Left Behind phenomenon.

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I’m going to start at the beginning for those who may not be familiar with Christian theology and prophecy, and then do a little speculating. A sizable part of the Old Testament is comprised of prophetic books written by ancient Jewish prophets. As one of my pastors used to say, the prophetic books are composed of both forth-telling, speaking the word of God as a conventional preacher would do, and foretelling, offering judgments and predictions for the future.

While the book of Revelation (not “Revelations,” it’s singular) is most commonly associated with end-time prophecy, the grand unified theory of Christian eschatology is taken from prophecies sprinkled throughout both the Old and New Testament. The Old Testament book of Daniel is a significant source of end-times prophecy, as are the words of Jesus.

When it comes to the rapture, the word isn’t specifically mentioned in the Bible. In fact, there are only a few verses that reference the event that we call the rapture. These include 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 and 1 Corinthians 15:51-52, in which Paul described believers ascending to heaven without dying. Jesus also discussed what seems to be a similar idea in Matthew 24:40-42 and Luke 17:34-35. where he spoke about two people side by side and “one will be taken and the other left.”

The verses aren’t very specific about what happens so there is a lot of speculation about what they mean. The truth is that no one really knows, although a lot of people are very dogmatic about their beliefs on the rapture and other prophetic details. There isn’t even agreement on whether the rapture occurs at the beginning of the end-time period known as the tribulation, the end, or somewhere in the middle.

I was surprised to learn that the doctrine of the rapture was relatively new in terms of Christian theology. The interpretation of the passages this way seems to have originated with John Nelson Darby, a nineteenth century British preacher. Of course, the fact that the rapture doctrine is a recent one does not make it wrong.

Whether we have the right idea about the rapture or not, there is precedent for ascending to heaven without dying. Both Elijah and Enoch in the Old Testament and Jesus in the New are said to have been taken physically to heaven.

The fundamental problem with rapture predictions is that even though Jesus did acknowledge that he would one day return, he said, “Of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only.” Numerous references describe his return as akin to “thief in the night,” that is, it will be unexpected and unpredicted. Even if the rapture theory is correct, any prediction of the timing can be discounted because Jesus himself said the predictors are full of what I’ll euphemistically call bovine eschatology.

Jesus did give several hints or signs about what would be happening at his return, along with another warning not to believe false prophets who prematurely proclaimed his return. These signs include “wars and rumors of wars… famines, pestilences, and earthquakes….”

There are more specific signs as well. One is the “‘abomination of desolation,’ spoken of by Daniel the prophet, standing in the holy place” in Matthew 24:15. This verse refers back to two prophecies in Daniel that apparently describe a defilement of the altar in the Jewish temple. This prophecy was as least partially fulfilled by Antiochus Epiphanes, a king of Syria, who captured Jerusalem in 167 BC and used the temple altar to sacrifice a pig, a ceremonially unclean animal, to Zeus. Jesus seems to suggest a repeat of this episode, but the temple no longer exists, having been destroyed in AD 70 in fulfillment of another of Jesus’s prophecies. This leads to the assumption that a new Jewish temple will be another sign of the end.

Another more specific symbol is the fig tree in Matthew 24:32-34 where Jesus says, “As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near,” and “Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened.” The questions here are what the description of the fig tree means and who “this generation” is.

Often in the Bible, a fig tree is symbolic of Israel. In theory, the passage could refer to the restoration of Israel as a nation in 1948 or the unification of Jerusalem under Israeli rule in 1967. No one really knows for sure, although many think they do.

Likewise, there are different interpretations about the meaning of the generation. One possibility is that Jesus meant his generation, which would mean that we are interpreting the passage incorrectly, since that generation passed away thousands of years ago. Another possibility is that it is a reference to the generation alive at the time the fig tree prophecy is fulfilled. Did Jesus mean “generation” as a time period or a reference to people living at the time of the event? Again, no one knows for sure.

Among the other unknowns that accompany a discussion of eschatology is the question of America. There are two generally accepted possibilities for why America is not mentioned in prophecy. One possibility is that America has replaced Israel in Bible prophecy. This is called replacement theology, and the unlikely fact that Israel has once again become a nation after more than 2,000 years argues against this interpretation.

The second likely possibility is that America doesn’t exist or isn’t relevant in the last days. It’s this possibility that had me thinking about prophecy even before the recent rapture hoax,

The Trump movement styles itself as making America great again, but what if its spiritual purpose is actually removing America from the world stage? What we’ve seen so far from Trump is largely a retreat from America’s role as a force for peace, democracy, and stability, not to mention morality, in addition to an economic and trade policy that decreases both American prosperity and influence.

Back in March, I wrote that MAGA policies might bring on a new dark age of war, economic problems, and disease. That possibility still seems on track, and in a possible coincidence, a new dark age would track closely with Revelation’s four horsemen.

Further, Revelation 3:14-22 preserves several letters to early churches, including one to the ancient church at Laodicea, but many theologians also believe it represents both archetypal churches throughout history as well as the final stage of the church age. This letter to a lukewarm and spiritually blind church has long been associated with the modern American church, and the rise of Christian Nationalism as a political rather than a Christlike force may be another step in that direction.

As someone pointed out, Christian Nationalism seeks the same worldly power that Jesus rejected when he was tempted by Satan. If the American and global churches were lukewarm and blind before, the Christian Nationalist focus on political power has not been a force for reform.

I’m hesitant to jump on the bandwagon of people trying to fit prophecy to current events, and I’m definitely not arguing that my ponderings are prophetic or inspired. Nevertheless it is interesting to ponder the possibility.

Maybe the MAGA era is a judgment on America that is a prelude to global judgement and maybe it isn’t. This is definitely speculative, but there are signs, such as the not one, not two, but three (and counting) golden statues of Donald Trump. For those who came in late, the statues were physical edifices at CPAC in 2021 and Washington, DC in 2025, and a virtual representation in Trump’s 2025 video of his plans for rebuilding Gaza.

In my more than half a century of observing politics and reading history, I can’t recall hearing of a single golden idol representing a politician, let alone three that represent the head of a blended religious-political movement who has claimed to be “The Chosen One.” Ironically, people who seem to try to view every world event from vaccines to eclipses through an end-times lens, don’t seem to have any problem with a golden Trump idol or three.

There is a lot that we don’t know about Bible prophecy and the end times. I don’t know if we are on the verge of the last days and the rapture or not. I do suspect that a lot of our commonly held assumptions, the things we think we know about how the end times will unfold, will turn out to be wrong. I see a parallel in our dogmatic beliefs about Jesus’s second visit with dogmatic Jewish beliefs about his first one that missed the mark.

Or maybe I’m the one who’s wrong. I don’t claim to be a prophet or have any special insight.

At any rate, I hope the rapture does happen. The idea of cheating death has always been appealing, or maybe it’s just the pilot in me that would like to live out, “I’ll Fly Away” in the literal sense.

In the meantime, I think our focus should be on what Jesus told us were the most important commandments: Loving God and loving our fellow man. That should keep us busy until he gets here.

NOTE: If you click the link on “I’ll Fly Away” above, this is what you get. I like gospel music, although I can’t honestly say I listen to a lot of it. “I’ll Fly Away” is a classic gospel song that has been recorded many times, including by Bruce Springsteen, but I’ve never forgotten the version I first heard by the Blind Boys of Alabama at Cincinnati’s Tall Stacks music festival in 2004. The Blind Boys rock.

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