2026: The Bingo card you need to read

It's time for nulli limitas, pedal to the metal, sheer crazy

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. This year has thankfully passed away, but it doesn’t have the good sense to stay buried. If we lived in the Fallout universe, 2025 would become a ghoul and hunt us relentlessly, forcing us to drink radioactive water as we become slaves to its unbending will.

We won’t bother you with all the details of this orbit, which began with much pomp and DOGE, and has ended with enough impossible crimes to cause Benoit Blanc to throw his hands up in surrender. Suffice to say, everyone remaining has taken communion from the chalice of corruption and graft. Many who deserve justice have been treated to death by drone strike, or a second strike to ensure the deed is done. And Ben Sasse is fighting a battle to remain alive in the face of a certain deadly diagnosis.

If only we could muster up the skepticism of RFK Jr. on vaccines, and apply it to “terminal” cancer. Many of us have suffered loss and devastating health news this year. The best answer is to make 2026 a year of blessings, both given and received. To end this turbulent year, we’ve offered something of a doggie bag to take with you into the new year, something to snack on when you see the news and remember we nailed it first.

We didn’t watch others (at least I, Steve, didn’t) with their bingo cards, but we know just about everyone online and in virtual print has one. So here is the official 2026 Bingo Card for The Racket News™️.

(N.B.: I considered putting these out there without attribution, and letting readers play Match Game if they could tell who predicted what. But after some thought, it’s best to just give everyone the goods. Also, since I am serving as editor for this post, I get the privilege of commenting on David’s items, and I’m sorry, not sorry, he doesn’t get equal time. I did not go on vacation. —Steve)

As far as anyone knows, these are not in any particular order. It’s just how they were submitted. Numbering is simply for organization.

David Thornton

1. Open and escalating conflict with Venezuela

2. Epstein files: Mark this as the free space, the star in the middle of the card.

3. Continuing economic slowdown, no matter how many statisticians get fired for reporting it.

4. Democrat wins in special elections and a midterm Blue Wave

5. University of Georgia football continues to dominate (Sic’em! Woof! Woof!)

6. Trump approval continues to decline as Republicans start to desert him in larger numbers, but there is still a relatively high floor due to devoted base.

7. Trump will not resign or be impeached in 2026. (Anyone care to take up odds? —Steve)

8. ICE will deport a US citizen. (This may have already happened —Steve)

9. The Falcons will continue to suck. (They beat the Rams —Steve)

10. Outbreaks of previously rare and/or eradicated diseases will continue under RFKJR’s anti-vaccine health policies.

11. Trump will not win the Nobel Peace Prize. He will also not repeat his win of the FIFA Peace Prize.

12. Trump will continue to show signs of mental and moral decline.

13. Trump’s winning streak on the SCOTUS shadow docket will shift to a losing streak before the full Court, but he won’t lose them all.

Steve Berman

1. Gaslighting will continue as MAGA eats history

   • Deadnaming Reagan: pundits will abandon conservatism nearly to the last holdout. All of Reagan’s achievements will be held in contempt.

   • Trump University reborn: the old one was embroiled in corruption, so the president will simply dub some existing school in his own name.

2. Sports

   • Revenge on the NFL: Trump has always hated the NFL, since they wouldn’t let him buy a team. They still wouldn’t. If you thought his suggestion that “football” refer to soccer in the U.S. was just a random shot, watch for the amp-up, especially if the winner of the Big Game isn’t owned by Robert Kraft.

   • FIFA: the shine on the peace prize will tarnish, but the payoffs will continue as major corruption is uncovered in 2026.

   • Golf: Trump will play more rounds of golf in 2026 than any president, past or future, ever in one year. He will be proud of the record, that is if a reverse #7 or #12 in David’s list doesn’t do him in.

3. Withdrawal from the Outer Space Treaty of 1967: the Chinese will launch their heavy lift crewed moon vehicle, and Trump will provoke them by announcing either a militarization of space, or ownership of lunar ground where we’ve been. This will lead to the Chinese and Russians to trash the treaty, and therefore even if the Senate doesn’t unwind it, it’s dead.

4. An official U.S. crypto currency: the U.S. Treasury will announce an official Central Bank Digital Currency, in the face of explicit congressional prohibitions. While the courts take time to rule, it will be a fait accompli, like the name “Trump” on the Kennedy Center, or the demolition of the East Wing of the White House,

5. Land: The GSA and BLM will announce a giant selloff of federally-owned land to private owners. This will be heralded as the solution to the national debt. The Chinese will salivate. (Bonus: if Trump offers deeds on small, micro properties to individuals and calls it something named after himself.)

6. Movement of federal functions from Washington physically to states: this began with the closure of the Hoover Building for the FBI and movement of many D.C.-based agents to field offices, and also with other agencies. The trend will continue as many agencies will have their functions dispersed to the states, which may seem like a good conservative idea on the surface, but in reality is like Palpatine dissolving the imperial senate to have planets report directly to regional governors. The federal government was confined to D.C. by the founders for a reason.

7. Greenland: Trump will try to have it. If not by legal means, by other (see Venezuela) means.

8. Gaza: It will be declared impossible after Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu receives a pardon from his government. Hamas will never disarm, and Israel will be stuck with the grim task of finishing its dismembering, leading to continued misery for all. Trump will simply walk away, and thus the brotherhood between Trump and Bibi will end.

9. Ukraine: Trump has never really cared if Ukraine lives or dies by Russia’s hand. His only goal is to make Volodymyr Zelenskyy suffer and leave office, bonus points if it’s in scandal or disgrace. Zelenskyy is responsible for Trump’s first impeachment (in his mind). Zelenskyy will be driven from office in 2026, or Ukraine will suffer dismemberment in the name of “peace.”

Honorable Mention: This is NUTS

Jay and Steve kicked this one around. It doesn’t merit an official square, but it’s out there just the same.

Marjorie Taylor Greene will announce her candidacy for Georgia’s 6th Congressional District, as a Democrat running in a primary against Lucy McBath, the incumbent. MTG will seek a place at the Democrat’s table, and they’ll be glad to give her one. Thus, she will cement her place as the dumbest politician in modern history. But she just might win.

Happy New Year everyone! Thanks to all our readers and commenters who make this site informative, alive, and fun.