MTG for Senate!

Wait! Hear me out! I’m going somewhere with this.

Growing up, I was a huge fan of the prime time soap operas, and no show was bigger and more iconic than Dallas. There was a plotline in the 2^nd and 3^rd seasons where Cliff Barnes, nemesis to the evil JR Ewing, got appointed to the fictional Texas Land Commission, where he proceeded to block all the plans for Ewing Oil to drill. Yeah, that’s a blatant conflict of interest and abuse of power, but those were simpler times and we’re talking about a TV show here. JR became enraged and hatched a diabolical plot to get rid of Barnes. He paid a young hotshot lawyer to approach Cliff with a “Barnes for Congress” campaign, accompanied by a briefcase full of cash. (Did they not have campaign finance laws in the 80’s?) In order to run for Congress, Cliff had to resign his position, at which point JR pulled all his secret campaign cash, leaving his nemesis not only humiliated, but also unemployed. Such machinations would result in JR taking a bullet to the gut in the hottest cliffhanger in the history of television.

U.S. Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene speaking with attendees at The People's Convention at Huntington Place in Detroit, Michigan. Image: Gage Skidmore from Surprise, AZ, United States of America

I think about this every time someone mentions Marjorie Taylor Greene. Every week, I see an ad from Jon Ossoff claiming that Greene is just dying to run against him for Senate. Ossoff should be so lucky. The only reason he and Raphael Warnock are in the Senate right now is Donald Trump’s false claim about the rigged 2020 election. Warnock got double lucky when Republicans nominated Herschel Walker in 2022. Ossoff caught a huge break today when Governor Brian Kemp announced his decision not to run next year. Republicans are despondent while Democrats are popping champaign corks across the country. That leaves the primary field wide open for every other Republican in the state to run.

I’m both saddened and relieved that Kemp is taking a pass. I first met Kemp at the 2009 GA GOP convention. He was shaking hands outside a reception for John Oxendine (Y’all remember HIM?) and introduced himself. “Hi, I’m Brian Kemp and I’m running for Secretary of State and I’d appreciate your support.” He seemed like a nice guy, and I liked his stand on the issues. And I have voted for him in every single election he’s run in since that day: primary, runoff, general elections. Had he chosen to run for Senate, I most likely would have supported him. But no sane Republican would want to run for Senate next year. It’s the most humiliating job in politics right now. It would mean at least 2 years (God help us if it’s longer) of pretending you didn’t hear the stupid thing Donald Trump said on live TV today, or defending the stupid thing Donald Trump said on TV today, and then defending Trump again tomorrow when he denied saying the stupid thing he said today and said just the opposite. It would mean voting to confirm whatever jackass Trump nominates for a position – even an actual farm animal should Trump choose to nominate one (just give it time. We’ll get there eventually.) And if you ever failed to do so, you would bring down the wrath of the national MAGA’s on your head and that of your family. Remember Lindsay Graham being harassed at the airport? Remember Joni Ernst swallowing her valid criticism of Pete Hegseth? Did you know that Mitt Romney was forced to shell out $10,000 a day EVERY SINGLE DAY for his family’s security after voting to impeach Trump? Who else has that kind of money? Who the hell needs that kind of grief?

Lucky for Kemp, he will have another shot at the Senate. He can just wait until 2028 to run against Raphael Warnock. By then, Trump will be on his way back to Mar-A-Lago (Please dear God, if you have any mercy for this country.) Maybe there will even be a market for a sane conservative at that point. We live in hope.

But in the meantime, someone has to win the Republican nomination in 2026. So, why on earth would I want Marjorie Taylor Greene to run? Simple. To get her out of the House of Representatives. Our state congressional districts are so gerrymandered that any of our Republican House members can be guaranteed office for life. Greene won her seat by a 65-35 margin in 2022. She won 75% of the primary vote that year. She didn’t even draw a primary opponent in 2024. The only way her weary constituents are getting her out of that seat is with dynamite – or, if she runs for another office.

So, is there an evil cabal of rich donors that could put together a super PAC for MTG? Coax her into a Senate run and then pull the funding? I’m sure Ossoff and his supporters are hoping for the same thing. I can only think of one downside to my evil plan (other than the fact that it’s probably illegal): she might actually win. Not that it would actually matter. Any Republican is going to have the same voting record. And she still wouldn’t be the stupidest member of the Senate, unless Tommy Tuberville gets another coaching job.