No eggs for you, socialist!

Massachusetts serfs can expect an egg-less 2022. Blame the pigs.

Massachusetts is about to face a severe egg shortage. The shortage is not because there aren’t any eggs, but because the state has regulated itself into scarcity. Excuse me while I chuckle.

Photo by Hana Oliver on Unsplash

The enviro-socialist-Marxists in the People’s Republic of Massachusetts boast a long history of trying to regulate themselves into utopia, burdening others with their silly regulations. One of the more famous law school study cases is West Lynn Creamery v. Healy, in which the Tsars of the Kremlin on Beacon Street enacted what they knew was a clearly unconstitutional law to tax milk from cows in New Hampshire and Vermont sold in the Bay State, and distribute the proceeds to Mass dairy farmers to control prices and prop up local production. You could say they milked out of state farmers for all they were worth (play rim shot here).

In 2016, Mass voters approved a referendum that required all pork, veal, and egg producers in the state to give livestock and fowl more room to roam. The law voters approved requires 1.5 square feet per hen, and goes into effect in 2022. But since 2016, the industry has moved to a 1 square foot standard, within a “multi-tier aviary,” according to a Boston Globe report. The legislature had ample time to change the law to use the new standard, and in fact, did—sort of. The new law is unfortunately stuck like a pile of chicken poop clogging the wheels of the glorious wagon of lawmaking in the worker’s paradise.

The reason is pigs. Pork is also in the bill that fixes the egg problem, and the Brahmin Bolsheviks in the Mass House and Senate can’t come to an agreement on when the new standards should take effect, since COVID-19 has done a number on the pork industry. Comrades in the House want to give the pigs another year to solve the issue of the crated sow, while commissars in the Senate demand birthing-swine must be granted immediate manumission. Both houses of the Bay State Politburo agree that all swine will end up shot in the head, so that part won’t change.

I feel like I’m reading Animal Farm.

There are still a few weeks left for the Leninists and Trotskyites to come to some agreement, but since the Duma has ended its formal session for the year, it looks more and more like Massachusetts will begin 2022, egg-less.

Colonial hens will still lay the eggs, but alas, those wonderful New England brown eggs will find their way to more deserving plates in New Hampshire, where pigs can live free or die in the cause of bacon; or Vermont, where eggs are gloriously launched at bourgeois examples of conspicuous consumption and Teslas lining the Prada-trod streets of Stowe.

Meanwhile, the pristine consciences of the proletariat, from the Berkshires to the marshes of Saugus, will rejoice at the coming emancipation of all chickens from the rough existence of thralldom. And they’ll all flock to (border towns like) Seabrook, Nashua, Brattleboro, and buy all the Rhode Island Red fresh eggs in Pawtucket, to load their SUVs and stock up for Easter.

With the hen space problem solved, Massachusetts will now legislate itself into a massive energy shortage. Huzzah, and hooray for socialism! Let us know how it all works out.

David is on the road (well, laid over on a flight trip) today. So I kept things short and light. There’s enough heaviness going on in the world, with cleanup from tornadoes in Kentucky and Arkansas, and many killed. COVID-19 “omicron” is about to sweep the nation, and I noticed a definite and large uptick in cases here in north Georgia, and in most of the U.S. I believe omicron has been crypto-spreading without symptoms for weeks, and it’s going to burst forth in a very unsettling way. The medical administrative state will push for masks, lockdowns and more shots. But this is really what we’ve been waiting for—a mild, highly spreadable form of COVID-19 that finally burns out the pandemic. It’s how the 1918 Spanish Flu pandemic ended. It’s coming and no amount of lockdowns is going to stop it.

Better to have that than to continue indefinitely to suffer the mental health crisis and national depression that COVID-19 has caused. Read Jay Caruso’s latest post about the “quiet death plaguing America.” It’s truly excellent and disturbing. Depressed people make poor choices. Drug overdoses are blooming like death flowers. Mental health is falling to pieces. We need relief and human contact again.

I hope you’re having a good season and looking forward to a very Merry Christmas!

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