Test of character

The First Law of Campaigns is making its appearance in Texas

Over here at The Racket News™, we just can’t get enough of Ken Paxton. I didn’t realize until now how super-addicted we are to this guy. I mean, by my count, we’ve covered him nine times since 2020. Granted, in post topics I lead David 7-2, so maybe it’s mostly my addiction, but the Texas Attorney General has our attention here, and for good reason.

Gage Skidmore from Surprise, AZ, United States of America, CC BY-SA 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

Paxton is like the cockroach in the movie WALL-E; he survives despite the universe’s best attempts to do away with him. I once called him “the very image of a modern MAGA general.” No matter the topic, this Texas lawyer could be reliably counted on to file the most facially embarrassing and legally insulting lawsuits in the service of one Donald J. Trump. The depth and breadth of Paxton’s legal asshattery and general malfeasance is legendary. He will go down in the history books to rival Duke Cunningham or Kwame Kilpatrick. But that’s not enough for Paxton. He wants to upgrade to the big-time, you know, the Nixon or Boss Tweed class, where the real action is. That is, if he can do what Trump has done, and by that I mean avoid prison.

And avoid prison he has, along with impeachment. The Texas House of Representatives, with Republican support, had him dead to rights in May 2023, on 20 articles of impeachment. Paxton’s wife, a state senator, was forced to sit through his trial in the senate, though she, as his wife, could not cast a vote against him. She could not cast a vote to acquit either, but that was hardly needed, as the spineless gaggle of Texas lawmakers acquitted Paxton of everything and returned him to office, polishing the tarnish off his spurs on his way out. It is ironic that Mrs. Paxton had to witness the full trial, but Mr. P only attended two days, and wasn’t even present for the vote that kept him in the cabbage patch.

Now the irony is fully playing out. See, the crux of much of Mr. P’s behavior flowed, as it does in many of his ilk, from the rot in his crotch. The FBI got involved when Paxton dismissed his senior deputy, Jeff Mateer, when staff took notice of their boss’ “bizarre” behavior, the Texas Tribune reported.

Paxton’s former top deputy said his boss’s bizarre behavior “finally made sense” when he realized [indicted real estate developer Nate] Paul had hired the woman with whom he was having an affair, which allowed her to move to Austin where he could more easily see her. This discovery, coupled with the realization that an outside lawyer hired by Paxton, without their knowledge, had sent subpoenas to banks that had made loans to Paul’s businesses, prompted the whistleblowers to report the attorney general to the FBI.

I won’t get into the details of Paxton’s relationship with Nate Paul, who just recently got off the hook without prison time after being convicted of an egg crate full of bank and wire fraud charges. But that’s not where the irony lies. Paxton has survived scandals, indictments, and impeachment. He has his eyes set on the Republican Senate primary, where he leads incumbent John Cornyn by 9 points. As the MAGA candidate, Paxton thinks he should be able to handle any Democrat come 2026. That might not be so easy, as the Democrat field includes Colin Allred, who ran against Sen. Ted Cruz, Beto O’Rourke, Joaquin Castro, James Talarico, Jasmine Crockett, and Terry Virts. GOP strategists worry that if Paxton beats Cornyn, the seat might flip.

The strategists might breathe a sigh of relief, because the First Law of Campaigns is making its appearance. If you don’t know, that law is when a candidate runs for office, their spouse also runs for office. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve personally witnessed good candidates sunk by their spouses, because they didn’t really come to a full agreement within the marriage of what it takes to win. It’s even worse when during the campaign, the marriage ends in divorce.

Angela Paxton has finally had enough of her cheating, lying, indicted, impeached but not convicted on either, husband. Thursday, she posted on X: “Today, after 38 years of marriage, I filed for divorce on biblical grounds.” Mr. P also posted his own statement. It’s interesting how the two sides of the story line up.

Mr. P. asks for our prayers and privacy. You know, it’s personal, keep your nose out of it. No questions, please. Let us pass through this painful chapter of life, move on, and set our sights on the glorious privileges of mainstream corruption in the U.S. Senate. Hail MAGA!

Mrs. P. speaks “in light of recent discoveries.” Hmm. I wonder what they are, because the whole thing of Ken cheating with other women is old news. One person who may know what that means is Sen. Cornyn. Cornyn told the New York Times that Mr. Paxton’s prior troubles were “just the tip of the iceberg,” and that many more revelations would surface.

“This is going to be a test of whether character still matters,” Mr. Cornyn said, seated under a painting of Superman in the offices of a small sticker printing business in Waco, Texas.

Now, we already know the answer to that question, because Donald J. Trump is President of the United States, Bill Clinton served two consecutive terms, and Barack Obama beat Mitt Romney, the nicest person ever to run for president, in 2012. I think the question has been asked and answered.

Regardless of the larger question on character, the First Law of Campaigns still applies. No candidate can easily overcome the liability of having an ex-wife fighting against him. Even Donald Trump, should Melania have divorced him before the 2024 campaign, would have had a hard time getting past that—my opinion of course, and you might disagree.

It’s not character that will matter so much in the 2026 Texas race for U.S. Senate. It’s the terrible, exacting, deep cuts of truth of a spurned wife who finally had her fill of her cheating heart husband. But the “recent discoveries” will be interesting to hear. I’d love to know just how deep the infidelities go, not the salacious ones with parties outside the marriage, but the infidelities to the law, which Ken Paxton has sworn to uphold as Texas’ chief lawman, and the infidelities to truth, and to justice. (And to the American way, which is why Cornyn stood under a painting of Superman, right?)

Perhaps running for Senate is just the thing to finally get rid of Ken Paxton. Or perhaps not. There’s still plenty of room for people of his ilk to occupy positions of great power and influence in the Trump puzzle palace.

Then again, Donald Trump does not suffer losers. The president has been coy about offering his endorsement of Paxton, or of Cornyn. If Trump sits out the race, or goes for Cornyn, I think it’s safe to say things are done for Paxton, as for the Senate seat. But if Trump does break for Paxton and Paxton loses, well that there is a pot where you went all-in with a pair of threes.

Whatever metaphors I want to mix here, the thing that matters most is being rid of Ken Paxton. Mrs. P. has her priorities in the right order. At least she will be rid of him.

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