In a blow to conspiracy believers, the Department of Justice and the FBI have announced that Jeffrey Epstein really did kill himself and that the long-sought-after client list did not exist. A memo first obtained by Axios said that there was no evidence of blackmail by Epstein, the trial evidence against Epstein would not have exposed “any additional third parties to evidence of wrongdoing,” video of the New York jail where Epstein died would be released, and no new charges would be brought against “uncharged third parties.” It’s almost like the online grifters have been lying and making stuff up all along.
But the scandal goes beyond the biggest dud since Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone’s vault.
Back in February, Attorney General Pam Bondi released what was touted as the “first phase” of Epstein files to be declassified and told Fox News the “list of Jeffrey Epstein’s clients” was “sitting on my desk right now to review.” Bondi was behind the much-ballyhooed release of binders of Epstein information to right-wing media personalities.
After his acrimonious breakup with Donald Trump, Elon Musk tweeted that Trump was “in the Epstein files” and that was the “real reason they have not been made public.”
Kash Patel and Dan Bongino, now the heads of the FBI, were among the online conspiracy theorists who pushed the idea that “Epstein did not kill himself” for years, yet cracks in their claims started developing long before this week. Back in May, the duo appeared on Fox Business and confirmed that the evidence showed that Epstein “killed himself.”
All of these people lied to you until they could not extend the lie any longer. As the late Herman Cain used to say, “They think you are stupid.”
And there’s no question that they lied, by the way. They either lied before when they said they had the client list or they’re lying now when they say they don’t. There is no way to reconcile the two claims.
The revelation that the Epstein client list was a myth leaves MAGA with a few choices. First, they can believe what seems to be the truth, that the list never existed, and they were conned by people who claimed that it did. The lie generated anger, clicks, and votes.
The more likely option is that the conspiracy nuts will weave this new information into the broader fabric of their conspiracy theories. Are Bondi, Patel, and Bongino compromised by the “Deep State?” Are they lying to protect Trump?
It seems that many Trump allies are already taking the second option to varying degrees. Some, like Laura Loomer (who was last seen allegedly being tricked into eating dog food), are focusing their ire on Bondi, while others are wondering about Trump’s involvement. After all, Trump allegedly told Bondi to release the Epstein files, and Trump could fire her, Patel, or Bongino at any time if he was displeased.
The Epstein saga played into the QAnon/Pizzagate conspiracy theory that a cabal of pedophiles (all Democrats, of course) secretly inhabited the high places of society. Over the years, conspiracy nuts have alleged that the Biden Administration and/or other Democrats were involved in a cover-up of Epstein’s death, but let’s look back at the facts:
Alexander Acosta was the US attorney who approved Epstein’s plea deal in 2008. Donald Trump later appointed Acosta to be his Secretary of Labor in his first Administration.
Jeffrey Epstein died in 2019 in a federal lockup at a time when Donald Trump was president and his allies headed the Justice Department.
Two presidents, Donald Trump and Bill Clinton, were directly connected to Epstein.
In the detective business, that would constitute means, motive, and opportunity, but I tend to subscribe to Occam’s Razor, the idea that the simplest explanation is correct (at least in the absence of evidence to the contrary). The simplest explanation here is that Jeffrey Epstein was faced with a humiliating trial and the prospect of life in prison and killed himself. Epstein was a con man and a pervert, but it seems that his sex trafficking was for his own evil pleasure rather than for peddling influence or blackmail.
The answer is in the DOJ press release noting the conviction of Epstein’s partner in crime, Ghislaine Maxwell. The release states, the minor victims “were groomed and abused by Maxwell and Epstein, both of whom knew that their victims were in fact minors.” Similarly, court documents for Epstein’s case don’t point to network of blackmail clients.
Epstein was the client.
But what about people like Prince Andrew, you might ask. The prince was tied to Epstein through numerous visits and testimony by Virginia Giuffre, who claimed that she was forced by Epstein to have sex with Andrew when she was underage. Andrew appears in a photograph with Giuffre and Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein’s partner in crime. Giuffre made similar claims about Alan Dershowitz.
The FBI and DOJ did not go into detail about either Andrew or Dershowitz, but both have denied wrongdoing. Apparently, the investigation did not find enough evidence to support Giuffre’s claims.
As to the photograph, its authenticity is in doubt. Maxwell claimed the photograph was fake, and Andrew said he had no memory of it. In any case, the photograph is not necessarily evidence of criminal activity. Those who would condemn Andrew based on the picture should consider that Donald Trump is also pictured with Epstein in more than one photo.
As often happens with conspiracy theories, the story took on a life of its own as online and on-air grifters blew the truth out of proportion and made up their own facts. By the time Epstein died, the legitimately bizarre case had captured the public imagination and, to a nation whose distrust of media and government was off the charts, the simple truth was too simple to be acceptable.
It will be interesting to see whether there is any accountability for those who propagated the lie. In particular, Bondi knowingly misled the American people to the end.
Speaking for myself, I never got on the “Epstein didn’t kill himself” train. Suicide always seemed to make more sense, as well as to fit another principle, Hanlon’s Razor, which advises, “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.” The possibility that the guards could leave Epstein alone long enough for him to end his life was believably stupid. It was more believable than the notion that assassins could penetrate a jail, kill a prisoner in an isolation cell, and escape undetected. Did you ever notice that the conspiracy crowd typically seems to think that the government is completely incompetent except when their conspiracy theories require the government to be unbelievably cunning, efficient, and successfully secretive?
As Mark Twain is wrongfully believed to have said, “It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled,” and that is certainly the case with the Epstein files fiasco. It will also hold true for MAGA as Trump’s policies lead to disaster in other areas.
As always, when blatant liars are revealed, my recommendation is to remember the people who claimed that the Epstein files would be a bombshell that would ripple through government and Hollywood with evidence that well-known politicians and actors were “pedos.” Take special note of those who still cling to the fiction. At the very least, these people were gullible and passed along misinformation uncritically. At worst, they knowingly passed along lies for their own benefit and to sway the election for Donald Trump. Either way, they should not be trusted.
The real takeaways of the Epstein files are in who should not be believed and that Deep State conspiracies should be taken with many grains of salt.
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Dr. Michael Baden, a forensic pathologist with a distinguished career involving cases like JFK and MLK, emerges as a credible voice in the Jeffrey Epstein case. Hired by Epstein’s brother to review the autopsy, Baden stated in 2019 that three fractures in Epstein’s neck—one in the hyoid bone and two in the thyroid cartilage—suggested homicidal strangulation rather than suicidal hanging. He argued that such fractures are rare in hangings, even for a 66-year-old like Epstein. As a private consultant, Baden operated free from institutional constraints, facing minimal personal risk beyond professional scrutiny. His established reputation reduced the likelihood of fabricating claims for publicity, strengthening his position as a truth-teller.
In contrast, Dr. Barbara Sampson, New York City’s Chief Medical Examiner, ruled Epstein’s death a suicide by hanging, supported by autopsy evidence (ligature marks, fractures, no defensive wounds), scene details (bedsheet noose), and federal investigations by the FBI and DOJ. As a public official, Sampson could have faced pressure from influential entities—potentially government or Epstein’s powerful associates—to uphold a suicide narrative, avoiding scrutiny of prison failures or broader implications. The Metropolitan Correctional Center’s documented issues—guards asleep, falsified logs, malfunctioning cameras, Epstein’s removal from suicide watch, and absence of a cellmate—raise questions about negligence or possible coordination, suggesting a scenario where a homicide could be concealed.
Forensic studies note that hyoid and thyroid cartilage fractures occur in 15-20% of hangings, particularly in older individuals, but Baden’s focus on three fractures as unusual supports the possibility of strangulation. The prison’s irregularities and Epstein’s elite connections cast doubt on the official ruling. Sampson, with her institutional role, had more to gain by maintaining a suicide conclusion, preserving her career and avoiding conflict with powerful interests, and more to lose by declaring a homicide, risking professional and institutional fallout. Baden, with little personal stake in the matter, appears more likely to be presenting an unfiltered perspective.
You might be correct but it's not the certainty you suggest. You quoted Bondi directly as lying saying “list of Jeffrey Epstein’s clients” was “sitting on my desk right now to review.”
From your CNN link, the actual reporting was:
"Bondi responded: “It’s sitting on my desk right now to review. That’s been a directive by President Trump. I’m reviewing that.”
In other words, Bondi didn’t commit to releasing such a list, but she affirmatively indicated it existed and that it was in her possession. And the question was specifically about the purported list – not other files related to Epstein.
At Monday’s White House briefing, press secretary Karoline Leavitt claimed under skeptical questioning from Fox News itself that Bondi hadn’t actually been referring to a client list.
“She was saying the entirety of all of the paperwork – all of the paper in relation to Jeffrey Epstein’s crimes,” Leavitt said. “That’s what the attorney general was referring to, and I’ll let her speak for that.”"
It is strange that it has taken so long to release this report. We are not getting the whole story, and I do not have a clue about what that might be.