Immanentizing the Republican eschaton

The unbridgeable MAGA gap and the black hole of Trump politics

I am not a fan of Kevin McCarthy. He’s as slippery as a greased pig. He got to be Speaker of the House by attempting to bridge an impossible gap between MAGA clowns and Republicans sharing a caucus. And predictably, he failed.

Matt Gaetz reportedly (and publicly) has harbored a grudge against McCarthy for some years. This is related to a congressional investigation into Gaetz for possible corruption, sexual crimes (including an allegation with a 17-year-old girl), and other ethics violations. Gaetz is a slimeball, who now wants to run for governor of Florida.

I believe McCarthy’s ouster was the inevitable end of Gaetz’s plan to humiliate the man and get comeuppance. That’s the kind of guy Gaetz is: a seven letter word ending in “hole.” But McCarthy knew this going in. Giving the MAGA clowns power to initiate a vacate vote with just one sponsor was a gimme tell. Like a rifle hanging on the wall in a Chekov story, it wasn’t just there for decoration—it was there to be used.

But this highlights the larger story of trying to bridge the unbridgeable gap in the first place. In January, 2021, the House—controlled by Democrats—impeached President Donald Trump for attempting to illegally overturn the 2020 election, and retain power in a self-coup, complete with a riot against Congress. The Senate—controlled by Republicans—couldn’t bring itself to convict a man with just weeks left in office, to prevent him from running every again.

Now, the MAGA appeasement has come home to roost. Idiocy reigns (and rains!) when Trump’s name is being floated as the next Speaker of the House. Impossible? Probably. A serious suggestion? Yes, it’s serious by the MAGA-cultists in Texas and Florida who will nominate him.

There is no bridging the gap between people who would make such a suggestion while Trump navigates courtroom to courtroom in trial after trial for his many, many transgressions (and, if convicted, crimes), and “normie” people who don’t like the current state of our government.

The vacating of the Speaker seat (another “never before”) has sowed a level of chaos into our government not seen since the 19th century. This will affect the ultimate end of the Ukraine war, the U.S. credit rating, markets, inflation, jobs, the government’s ability to function (the 45 day clock is ticking), and the sanity of everyone who has to watch the clown parade.

Why did eight Republicans decide to get rid of McCarthy? Apparently so they could fundraise off it. This is the stuff of corrupt government. It’s corrupt, crooked, grifter politics. Why did Democrats all go along with the plan? Because, at its core, all 538 members of both houses of Congress are in the same cult—their interests are aligned in that they are in office and wish to remain in office. They wink and nod and understand why the “other party” fundraises off every maudlin disgusting event and manufactured outrage, because they do the same thing.

It’s “just politics,” they justify. No, it’s corruption.

One guy’s personal animus against a political snake like McCarthy got Democrats to break out the popcorn. The budget pales in comparison to the carnage they revel in as the GOP publicly airs its filthy laundry. Who can even remember Sen. Bob Menendez or Hunter Biden? We have Trump nominated to be Speaker of the House, as he uses his own court appearances to make crazed campaign speeches.

This script—if written by an AI trained only on Woody Allen and Mel Brooks movies and French farces—could not do justice to reality.

The reality is simple: the MAGA gap cannot be bridged. Anyone who tries will be (as astronomers say when lecturing about black holes and accretion discs) “spaghettified” as they’re torn apart by tidal forces beyond political will to fix.

I am becoming convinced that the GOP is going to die, and in craptacular fashion. Funny, because I remember writing in 2016 that Trump will destroy the Republican Party.

Is this how people who will have written about Armageddon, and who find themselves living through the eschaton feel when it finally happens?